what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
