I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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