I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
