after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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