Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
