hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were trust falling into bushes
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
