Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just found a bag of teeth...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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