We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
