But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
