Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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