Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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