Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
