i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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