I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
