I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize