I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
