we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
