As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
