Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
