Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
