you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm passing your future prison.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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