I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
