last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
wow bdsm is so cute
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
