wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
