Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
