kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
there was a trapeze. enough said
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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