You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
