I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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