stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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