The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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