Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Rumble strips road head = magical
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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