I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
