Can Purell be used as lube?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
