dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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