I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
