Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
