i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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