I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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