I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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