my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
