the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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