like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
