that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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