Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
