listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
