do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
