I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
