just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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