ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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