You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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