Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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