think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
