Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
