I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
