It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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