Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize