Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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