Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
