GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize