So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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