Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
